So….you’ve confessed your Love to each other.
Shopping? Movie time? Lunches and dinners? Meet his friends/ her friends? Hugs and kisses? See each other 24/7 and talk on the phone when you can’t do face-to-face?
OH! AND – Remember all the special dates, anniversaries, and gifts to give to each other.
Trust me, all of these are good things about being in a relationship. Having someone to be there for you whether you are upset/ frustrated/ scared/ happy/ excited, and all the other things you are going through is wonderful. Given all the benefits that a relationship brings, oftentimes we would forget what’s behind the scene- the hard work, time, sacrifices, struggles, and/or accommodations. Sometimes we are heavily influenced by today’s media of what love is all about in reality and in action. Being in a relationship is not always as romantic as what you watch in Twilight , and its ending is certainly not always “happily ever after.”
Despite the length of the journey, a relationship requires a lot of maintenance and at some point, you will need to step out from your box & comfort zone for your loved one. It is also a commitment to each other. Of course, you don’t have to make a life-long commitment at your first month anniversary (lol- I don’t think you should either…), but ultimately you should be serious about the relationship, know what you are doing, and make sure you guys are on the same page.
But wait, we are still young!
Right, right, yes we are….but time flies….trust me…it really does.
We started our journey early. Earlier than most people I guess?
We have been through ups and downs, little bumps here and there, re-routes, stop signs, everything… There are uncountable times when I thought to myself, “What’s the point of spending all these efforts and time for this other person?” or “Why do I have to make changes or adjustments for this person?” Self-centeredness is no doubt one of the biggest road blocks during the ride. As human beings, this element was embedded in our body since day 1. Don’t get me wrong; there is nothing wrong about thinking for yourself and plan the best for yourself. But a relationship is not a One-Way thing, it needs to be a Two-Way thing. Maybe you are right, maybe he/she is wrong, but nothing can be resolved if no one is willing to take a step back and think about the other one.
Communication, communication, communication.
I can’t stress enough the importance of communication between the two of you. Your relationship is really built upon communications. Through talking more to each other about feelings, about what you want, you will let him or her know your expectations and what you are looking for in life. Communication also enhances your understanding of each other’s values and personality. If it is clear that you guys’ values are so different/ total opposite to a point that is not acceptable, then you might want to read: THINKING ABOUT BREAKING IT OFF BEFORE V-DAY? by TONGYUEN for more ideas and suggestions.
Going back to my personal story – I don’t even remember how many fights we had, how many sleepless nights, and how many things I regretted for saying. It was definitely not an easy journey. It was certainly not what I expected 7.5 years ago- the day when “we” began. However, one thing that I am 100% sure is that we love each other..dearly, to a point where we accept each other’s flaws, admire each other’s strengths, and we are willing to change ourselves to become a better half for each other.
So here we are – going into our 8th year, getting ready to walk into another stage of our lives together…
Say the vows from the bottom of our hearts,
and be one in Christ.