From ‘me’ and ‘you’ to (us)

First sights, impressions, conversations, hang outs, deeper conversations, feelings, hesitations, decision – (us).

Hello friend:)  I don’t know what went through your mind as you read this chain of words. “Been there, done that”? Are you going through it? Or are you waiting?

The four letter word LOVE is so simple, but complicated and hard to comprehend in its own way. Romantic love between a guy and a girl is probably one of the most complicated ones. You might ask, do/did I really have to go through all that to start dating? To go from ‘me’ and ‘you’ to ‘us’? The answer is – maybe. And notice how ‘us’ is in parentheses ()? Even though you went through all the steps in the chain, there is still the unknown, the uncertainty, the possibility that ‘me’ and ‘you’ won’t progress to ‘us’. But it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try!

Some thoughts for the chain…

First sights and impressions are like the catalysts of the reaction. [Hmm I wasn’t/am not very good in Chemistry, and yet I used this as analogy. Hahaha :p] Good and not-so-good impressions directly affect the rest of the chain. Good impressions might help spark conversations quicker. Something to be aware of is – BE YOURSELF! You may be inclined to portray a very likable personality in a group setting. But after all, it is who you really are that’s the most important. It is YOU that special someone looks into and want to know more about. You would also want to see the ‘real’ him/her, right? 🙂

Texting, phone calls, Facebook…. There are just so many ways to communicate with others now,  even when we are not with people in person and not being face-to-face with each other. Keeping the conversation and connection going is great with technology, but it’s probably best to go back to the basic – hang outs. Not Google Hangout haha, but real, face-to-face hangouts. Get to know the person. Do something fun. A wise advice I had learned is to hang out in groups too. You can observe how the guy/girl acts in a group setting and.. it might ease the awkwardness too. Something to be aware of is, BE FRIENDS! Don’t jump too far and beyond. Try simply to get to know the person, like the likes and dislikes, values and views, and the superficials and the deeps.

Imagine as if we were on a roller coaster ride. We are now at the climax/high point of the ride. Hearts are pounding, feelings are so concrete, but there are hesitations. Doubts. You don’t know what steps to take. To confess or not. This is probably one of the hardest decisions you have to make because you may be afraid of rejection. Afraid of losing a friend, a close friend. REMEMBER: the ultimate decision is on you. It can be beneficial to get advice from your buddies and family. But in the end it is you who decide whether you would like to take a step further in the relationship. If you do decide to express your feelings, consider whether you are prepared to accept the ‘no’ from the girl/guy; to acknowledge that ‘me’ and ‘you’ can’t progress into ‘us’. Yes it can/will be hard to accept at first, but think positive! This is not the end… Move on:) And, don’t rush. Take time to get to know the person. Do some mental talks with yourself and be clear about your feelings and thoughts.

In the case that the unknown is solved and ‘us’ is without the parentheses, treasure it and LOVE!! Take care of each other and continue to learn about each other.

Going through this roller coaster ride will not be easy. Look for support and guidance from your friends, siblings, parents, mentors, and perhaps from the most important person – God. Pray to Him, our Heavenly Father. Or… you may still be in the mist of finding that “someone”. Pray that you will find a guy/girl who will embrace you for who you are and who is committed to stay closely by God’s side and seek Him.

Yours truly,

ruthchau

 

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